It’s been a while

I’ve not had much energy for blogging in the past few weeks so it’s now mid-March and no one has heard anything from me since January.

Photo of baby girl in a blue onsie with little grey trees on it.

The Good:

  • Rabbit is ever adorable, sleeping quite well for her age and developing nicely.
  • I’m back at uni and enjoying it.
  • I have the world’s best partner who is doing their best to take care of me.
  • My blood pressure has returned to normal after a few weeks of it being very high post birth.
  • I am doing some work with a lovely lady and learning some new skills along the way.

The Bad:

  • Uni is a struggle, do you know hard it is to study with an infant? Really fucking hard.
  • I do not function well without sleep.
  • I had to stop working on the Hekate stuff to fit in life stuff. This makes me sad.
  • I am so many shades of out of spoons.

The (really) Ugly:

  • My mental health has gone to hell in a handbasket. Primarily, we feel, because of lack of sleep combined with the added stress of motherhood and uni combined. I am… unwell. Very much so. The people I want to know the details already do, but suffice to say my medication is being upped to help my brain cope with everything and I’ve done an awful lot of crying recently.
  • My floors… just don’t look at them if you visit.

Sleep In!!

I got to sleep to 6:30am this morning. Rabbit usually wakes at 5:30am so this was awesome! I feel good. I’ve done housework I’ve been putting off for a couple of days even and it’s only 10am.

So, Rabbit is 3 weeks today. In the past 3 weeks I have learnt something important: Babies are a fuckton of work and I can’t do all the things I want to. I need to nap at least once a day with her in order to be functional for her 12-1am feed and she needs a lot of my time with feeds, nappy changes and playing. We’ve resolved one problem by putting together her big cot in the loungeroom so she can play and nap out here with me during the day.

Photo of my 3 week old daughter, nicknamed Rabbit, sleeping on a colourful play mat.
Rabbit seems to like her play mat in the cot set up. She plays and naps while I do chores.

Unfortunately, all that means I’ve had to drop things. The main one is my Hekate course. I can pick it up in the next cycle of it so it’s not a drama, but I’m a bit sad. I simply can’t keep up with it right now and I definitely won’t be able to catch up and keep up with it when uni starts back at the end of Feb.

With that said, there is some good news. I’m developing a nice routine with the little one and that means I’m doing ok with my self-care. My mental health is holding up surprisingly well, and I’m physically doing pretty damned well. My shoulders are killing me, but I’ll sort out a massage to right that soon. The girls are back at school so I have a bit of quiet and calm at home during the week now, after several months of someone always being here. Also Kovu the Dog has chilled the fuck out and is back to behaving himself for the most part. Still working on the barking but it’s getting better.

My Mate is away for work for 10 days and I’m missing him like blazes. However, I’m managing the home stuff and I’m upright. I’m also super proud of him. He knows why I am.

There’s been very little creative stuff this last 2 weeks, but I’ve continued on Rabbit’s blanket and am about to start a little gift for a friend’s baby which is due in a few weeks.

So that’s me, how are you?

 

2018 New Year Goals

I either go into the new year with a war cry or actual goals. This year coming is a goal year and as usual, I’m well ahead of January in putting them together. I like to actually think these things through and plan them. I’ve gone with 6 goals this year, and I think all are achievable. 1 is kind of an ongoing thing but I think I’ll want the reminder when I look back at this list given how much energy a newborn needs from their parents.

Overall though I have a personal goal, a family goal, a study goal, a creative goal, a super-mundane goal and a magical goal. 6 distinct parts of my life covered ;p

  1. Remember to keep on top of my self-care. I can’t achieve anything else if I’m completely falling over.

  2. Be a good parent to Rabbit. She’s joining us in early January. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out. Pretty straight-forward as far as it goes, but also easier said than done.

  3. Do well at my university studies. Again, rather self-explanatory as far as it goes. I want to achieve good grades. The degree does call for an honours year.

  4. Learn to spin yarn and weave. I have now got two lovely looms. One is a small tabletop rigid heddle and the other a large four heddle loom I was given. I also have a spinning wheel in the garage. I would like to pair this goal with sourcing sustainable, ethically produced, materials and dying methods.

  5. Do something about my wardrobe. It’s over-flowing with things I don’t wear, and clothes that really need replacing despite how much I love them. I own a sewing machine, there’s a charity store nearby and I’ve spent a reasonable amount of time already thinking about how to go from this mess to capsule wardrobe.

  6. Stick with the Hekate work I am doing. Routine is often unfamiliar in my world and it’s time I developed it. 

Enrolled!

So I was somewhat oblivious to the whole pregnancy thing, basically didn’t think I could get pregnant so I was about 10 weeks when I finally found out… and that 10 weeks was hell. I was so horrifically nauseas and tired ALL THE TIME! Now, I have some seriously stupid ongoing digestive issues so I didn’t think too much of it except that I suddenly so tired I couldn’t focus on anything.

At the time I was undertaking a full load of distance study in psychology. I could see I wasn’t going to be able to manage that with the tiredness and dropped a class and then I had to ask for two extensions on an assignment for the other one despite normally being able to ace a subject whilst working full time, let alone the 3 days I was working at the time.

A friend who, at that time, I didn’t know well suggested pregnancy and the idea got stuck in my brain. 2 days later I was getting the whole thing confirmed and calling my mate (in Hong Kong for a conference) to tell him the news all whilst freaking out about the timing and whether or not they wanted this…

And dropping my remaining university class. There was no way I was going to keep up between work and what I knew would be ongoing nausea and exhaustion. I was literally getting home from work, falling asleep on the couch, getting up for dinner and going back to bed.

I was studying the pre-entry classes for a Psychology degree. Something I had considered on and off for a few years. I wanted to make psychology services more readily available to queer people like me, and to queer disabled people. I still do, which is why I have finally re-enrolled. Starting in late February 2018 I’ll be back at study part time to finish those prerequisite classes whilst Rabbit is still a wee tiny thing.

Wish me luck.

Planning, planning, planning…

Honestly I need to get better about planning my individual days around the hot weather. By mid-morning it’s hitting 30 degrees (86f) and my pregnant ass can not be fucked dealing with anything housework or movement related. At least, that aside, today has been a good day for sitting behind a screen and doing some forward planning.

I spent the first hour or so this morning flicking through the CSIRO Low-Carb Diet. I bought this due to the gestational diabetes – the less carbs I eat the better my blood

Photo on 21-11-17 at 4.59 pmglucose levels are, and in the long term the less risk I have of developing type 2 diabetes (which runs in my family). I spent some time this afternoon putting together a meal plan for next week which looks actually viable and really tasty. I need to try and include 2 serves of fish each week which is… awkward with teenagers in the house who hate fish.

 

**The one thing I did note about this book is that it is in no way low FODmap friendly. I’m experienced enough to make the adjustments where needed but if you’re newer to the FODmap diet try cookbooks especially for it. I only found one low-carb and low-FODmap cookbook and it looked dodgy as sin.** 

I moved on to crafts from there, which has been lovely, and planning out my 2018 gift list. It’s currently far smaller than it will be, but it’s a start. I’m also looking at my current maker list and making sure I’m on track for that. I have 5 current projects:

  • The bunny bonnet for Rabbit that should be finished this week.
  • The waffle weave crochet blanket to go with said bonnet.
  • A blue lap blanket that I think will be a gift.
  • Mum’s gift (she can find this so it goes in as secret squirrel) – Starting this week with view to finish mid-Jan (I may be overly hopeful here)
  • 23798193_10156760990899692_72428983_oA devotional carnelian bracelet made for my work with Hekate which I finally got the beads for and will also start this week once I have the appropriate threads for it (it came threaded on the string)  >>

After a bit of debate I have re-enrolled in the class I dropped earlier this year when I first become pregnant. I was so sick that I couldn’t keep up, and that will be starting late February so there’s time to settle Rabbit in prior to kicking off.

So, yes, today has been a good day for planning. I think, over the years, this isn’t really something I’ve taken the time out to do and that’s reflected in the lack of achievement of goals both in professional and personal fields. My Mate is, thankfully, a very strong planner and their influence is rubbing off.

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