2018 Redux

Christ, what a year it’s been. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. 

I was diagnosed with:

  • carpel tunnel
  • osteoarthritis in both knees
  • thorasic opening syndrome 
  • glandular fever
  • 3 chest infections
  • 2 sinus infections 
  • Something wrong with liver function (yesterday)

My mental health has gone from ok to bad to worse with some occasional upswings that then became big drops. My meds have doubled in under 12 months to try and keep up and are failing to do so. Which has been really tough with a baby in the house. 

My health has cost me a contract I was loving, and caused me to – temporarily – drop university until I’m doing better. I’ve been an absolute flake on social matters and just over all struggled to get out with a few exceptions. I also never made it to bellydance which makes me incredibly sad.

My Beloved has had a rough year himself so we’re both worn out and tetchy at this point, but doing our best to hold ourselves together and support each other. 

And then the cat got sick and, fuck me, that was a terrifying 24 hours.

But, with the bad comes the things that hold us here. Starting with the biggest thing of the year – giving birth in January. She’s the light of my life, and literally has kept me alive this year. 

Image of my infant daughter when she was only a week old. She's tiny and wrapped in a white muslin swaddle with monsters on it.

Rabbit

This little darling has gone from strength to strength. Watching a child grow is fascinating, watching them learn is delightful and there is nothing more beautiful in the world than your own child. 

And she went from this too…

This! 

Almost 11 months old, crawling, standing, trying to walk (she can with support from someone bigger) and feeding herself reasonably well. She’s a brave explorer of the world – yesterday she climbed down the stairs at home for the first time. She likes to dance and garden. She thinks water is the best and  bath time is AWESOME. She loves people especially her big sisters, Nanny L and Poppy, and absolutely adores Daddy. 

My gorgeous parents-in-law have been amazing with her and helping us out as we try to hold our sanity and heath together. I really couldn’t have survived the past 2 months without them.

The twins graduated and turned 18! It was a pretty rough ride for both of them, but they made it work and we are so incredibly proud of both of them. J is moving out of home shortly and M has job interviews lined up, both are waiting on their final results and university offers. 

My Mum got engaged! I am so happy for her and looking forward to the wedding. 

My lovely friend Miss A started her own dance business – APB Dance

My dear friend Nik has been like a second Mum to Rabbit through the year and a huge support to me. 

I started painting again. 

And most importantly I finally said enough is enough with my mental health an dasked for a referral to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist I’m seeing was recommended by my psychologist and has a holistic practice where he is working with me to address the underlying physiological issues to my depression so that A) my meds can work, and B) we can hopefully lower my medication dosage or maybe get me off them entirely. 

So that’s where I’m signing off. It’s been a hard, emotionally taxing, and sleep deprived year, but as always we sign off hoping for better in the New Year. 


2017 – Manifesto

2016 didn’t kill me. 2017 is probably going to try, but whatever…

I don’t have a list of resolutions this year. I’m going back to my original manifesto style stuff…

Surrender, release, grow.

sketchez__100810_by_creature13

Art by Creature XIII

Wait, I do have new year resolutions, I lied to you:

  1. Wear more lipstick!!
  2. Read more books!!

And the song for the year is back to an old favourite.

 

2016 in Review.

It’s mid-ish November, I’ve just logged out of my facebook with no idea when I plan on logging back in and removed the app from my phone.

Trump is President-elect of the United States which is mildly terrifying, and our government is sending off-shore processed refugees to there… because why not send them to a country that doesn’t want them.

Earlier this year the Australian people voted mother-fucking Pauline Hansen into parliament, and failed to boot our shitty ass government out in favor of better things. We’re still a coalition.

David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Prince, Muhammad Ali, Gene Wilder and Leonard Cohen all died… Bowie, Rickman and Prince were pretty fucking devastating. After Bowie it all just melted into a pot of ‘God, fuck, no’.

In my personal life it’s been up and down.

On the down I was retrenched in April, been broke, been sick several times, have lost very little weight, have had a world of stress on my shoulders, haven’t made much art, finances are tight, and it’s generally been a rough year.

On the up… We moved into our house with help of amazing friends. The house is gorgeous and feels like ours in a way that rentals never do. I’m happy here and we’re building our life together which is amazing. The wedding planning continues with a few minor setbacks and we’re pretty fucking excited about life at large.

I have some answers to health problems that have lessened the complaints from my stomach and digestive track which has improved my overall health in many ways. I have much lower pain issues thanks to the same change in diet plans that helped my stomach as they also alleviated a lot of the inflammation in my joints. On top of that I have a diagnosis for my foot pain that has lead to improvements in feet, ankles, knees, hips and lower back which has been awesome. So much less pain means so much better sleep. Better sleep means more stable me, and that means…

I’m coming off my meds, successfully as far as we can tell. The first 2 weeks were a nightmare, but the anxiety has settled down to generally being caused by something or due to being over tired and unable to reign in stress over inconsequential shit. So I’m now at week four.

About a month back I also started a new job which I am loving. I’ve gone from 4 half days to four full days and am stepping up to take over the roster coordinator role whilst they’re on leave. I’m scheduling, and it’s challenging enough to be interesting without being super stressful like the old job was. I love it, and am hoping to be there for a few years while I study.

Speaking of, I started the pre-requisite classes for my degree this year, and it is going super well. I did really well on my portfolio and first essay – High distinctions on both. So now I’m waiting on results from my final essay and chat board grades (participation markers because we’re online students). So that’s good. Next semester is Statistics so… panic stations.

Mum is coming down for Christmas too, which is nice. We’ll also have the cousins, in-laws, bro-in-law and wifey with kids in tow. It’s gonna be big and fun. First family Christmas we’ve done since I moved in.

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So yeah, that’s my year in redux. No idea what the next month and a half will bring, but it better be better than Trump and no more people dying or else. It’s summer. Have a photo from a few weeks back when we climbed Hanging Rock. Look, it’s me and stuff.

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