I don’t like doing resolutions. The energy on new year’s eve is too chaotic and drunken. It isn’t a good night for resolving to do things. So I’ve been considering what’s coming in 2020 for a while really and it isn’t going to be anything special.

My goals for 2020 in short are:

Self Care – The real kind, not the fun kind.
In 2020 I aim to do the things that support my wellbeing and continued growth as a parent, artist, creator and person.

I’ve has a rough year this year, physically and mentally, but I’m ending in a much improved place and my goals for this year, in line with the above, look much like last years:

  • Be a great mum – no more needs to be said. I have a bright, curious, little bug who will be 2 in a few weeks. We’re doing great. We will keep doing great.
  • Continue working on my health
    • Continue gradually improving my mental health with the support of my care team, gradually improving eating and self care that support it.
    • I’ve lost a little weight in the last few months by making small changes to my diet and I will continue that work. Slow, steady and sustainable.
    • Get moving a bit more. I started a little dancing this past few months and want to go back to classes and take up yoga again.
  • One goal I did hit in 2019 is FINALLY getting started on my weaving… and I enjoy it a lot so in 2020 I want to try making actual stuff, not just playing round.
  • I finished one of the 5 projects I was working on in 2018 that I put down as goals for this year so in 2020 I’m going to try and finish one more… Don’t hold your breath for this achievement.

Once again this post is necessary to read and reread over and over.

The beginning of the love affair…

2019 in Review

So 2019 happened…

I didn’t blog much. There wasn’t much to say really.

I spent the first three quarters of the year wrangling my mental health. With the help of a holistic psychiatrist I improved my nutrient intake and dropped my medications. The final step down didn’t go well so I’m on a new medication that is working really well and continuing to work on the elements of diet and lifestyle that support my mental health.

My physical health has gradually improved. The germs that Rabbit brings home from daycare means that I’ve been sick a lot but it’s gradually improving. My Beloved on the other hand got pneumonia and landed their ass in hospital with an abscess is their lung. They’re ok now but they’ve lost about 10% of their lung capacity on one side.

I am continuing work for the little events company I’ve been with for the last year and am loving it more everyday. I will be incredibly sad when it comes to an end.

My beloved was made redundant in August. They are now working as a consultant and have an ongoing position lined up for next year. I am so incredibly proud of how they handled the redundancy so soon after being sick, and so very happy for them with the positions they’ve found. They are doing so well.

Rabbit grows at an insane rate. She’s bright, cheerful, inquisitive and fearless. Everything a shortly-to-be-two year old should be. Her big sisters are amazing, as always.

My disappointments for the year are few.

I didn’t make as much art as I’d like, but I did make art.
I didn’t read enough, but I did read.
I didn’t socialise enough, but my health is improving so it balances out.

Overall this year has been brutal but rewarding.

Oops I did it again…

Jan 1 roles around after a truly lovely New Year’s Eve with family and friends aaaaaand…

I wake up with a cold, and an additional resolution to add to my things for this year:

I will practice the art of only doing as much as my body and mind are actually capable of!

Seriously, every time I push myself I get sick again so I have got to learn to do this. For now though, tea.

2019, here we come

I thought I’d written this but apparently I accidentally deleted it.

So I did a redux, but I didn’t add a few very important things to it.

As 2018 closes I want to say thank you. Thank you to Nicole Field for her never ending patience with my cancelling of catch ups. Thank you to Amanda for her encouragement, advice and parenting support. Thank you to Morgan for persisting with our friendship despite how damned hard I make it.

And huge, epic, gratitude to my partner, my in-laws, my mum and partner, and my gorgeous step-daughters for the support, the love, the meals, the patience, the babysitting, the help cleaning house, and the acceptance of where I’m at right now.

It’s been a a fucking hard year. So next year my goals are small-ish.

  • Get Rabbit to things that involve other young children every week.
    • So far we’ve got Gymbaroo setup and I’m aiming for one or two playgroup gatherings. Someone mentioned Ceres also run a music thing for littles so I’ll look that up.
  • Finish my multitude of started projects. Off the top of my head I have:
    • Blue Blanket
    • Big Blanket
    • Rabbit’s blanket
    • Sal’s present
    • Fetch related things
  • Try intuitive painting and learn to weave.
  • Continue working on my health.
    • This one is a struggle. I just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel at this point and it is making it so hard to look after myself. I’ve been self-sabotaging all over the shop, but I’ve done some good things. I have followed my psych’s intructions and I have ordered some pre-made meals so I actually eat real food.
    • I still need to work on exercise.
  • Witchcraft, because always witchcraft.

It’s been such a hard year for me that I am trying not to over commit myself with anything for 2019. My health and Rabbit are the priorities. Creative bits come after that, but as they tend to help my sanity I will try to work on something every day.

That’s it. The motto of the year is “Baby steps are better than no steps”.

Also this is going to be read, re-read and re-read until I get it through my thick skull.

One of those projects to work on.

New Year’s Wishes to You

Thinking of you all – friends, family and people I’ve never met who read along as well – as my Wolf and I quietly see in the new year together from the couch. 2017 has been equal parts amazingly good and extremely hard for us, and I can’t bring myself to feel sad for seeing in 2018 quietly with the love of my life.

IMG_0639

My wishes for 2018, for all of us…

May our Ancestors, those of the blood and of the heart, and Our Mighty Dead stand with us through the trials that life throws at us, and our spirits soar through the year to come.

May the year to come be one of abundance and laughter, of good times and resolutions to old hurts.

May the powerful who deign to stand above us fall, and the humble who work for the greater good rise. Let us stand with them.

May we create. Create things, create life, create a better world. Let it be a year where kindness rules above all.

May it be a year overflowing with love. God knows we need more of it in this world.

Above all, may it be the year we live as best we may, as authentically as we may, and as honestly as we may. 

With hope, love and faith, 
Bones.

 

2018 New Year Goals

I either go into the new year with a war cry or actual goals. This year coming is a goal year and as usual, I’m well ahead of January in putting them together. I like to actually think these things through and plan them. I’ve gone with 6 goals this year, and I think all are achievable. 1 is kind of an ongoing thing but I think I’ll want the reminder when I look back at this list given how much energy a newborn needs from their parents.

Overall though I have a personal goal, a family goal, a study goal, a creative goal, a super-mundane goal and a magical goal. 6 distinct parts of my life covered ;p

  1. Remember to keep on top of my self-care. I can’t achieve anything else if I’m completely falling over.

  2. Be a good parent to Rabbit. She’s joining us in early January. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out. Pretty straight-forward as far as it goes, but also easier said than done.

  3. Do well at my university studies. Again, rather self-explanatory as far as it goes. I want to achieve good grades. The degree does call for an honours year.

  4. Learn to spin yarn and weave. I have now got two lovely looms. One is a small tabletop rigid heddle and the other a large four heddle loom I was given. I also have a spinning wheel in the garage. I would like to pair this goal with sourcing sustainable, ethically produced, materials and dying methods.

  5. Do something about my wardrobe. It’s over-flowing with things I don’t wear, and clothes that really need replacing despite how much I love them. I own a sewing machine, there’s a charity store nearby and I’ve spent a reasonable amount of time already thinking about how to go from this mess to capsule wardrobe.

  6. Stick with the Hekate work I am doing. Routine is often unfamiliar in my world and it’s time I developed it. 

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