Dark Chocolate Brownie Cheesecake – GF, LF

**I Drafted this in… 2016 and forgot about it. Here you go, enjoy**

Ohhh yeah, you heard that right. Dark chocolate brownie cheesecake that is lactose and gluten free, AND it’s gooooood.

So my mother, being the epic baker that she is used to make this gorgeous kitkat cheesecake. It was divine and I made it myself for a long time, but then fodmaps. Woo… not. I’ve been promising my friends I’d experiment with lactose free creams and gluten free bases etc for a while so here it is. One dark chocolate brownie base with delicious lactose free cheesecake.

I think this would be delicious with walnuts in it, but I’m making it for a party with a friend who has a nut allergy.

  • 150g dark, lactose and gluten free chocolate (read the labels, I found mine in the baking section)
  • 125g nutelex
  • 1 large egg
  • 1/3 cup white sugar
  • 1/4 cup gluten free self raising flour*
  • 3/4 cup gluten free plain flour*

*I’m being lazy and using Woolworths freeform flours.

Get your oven preheating. 160c for fan forced or 180c for conventional (Not fan forced?)

Melt dark chocolate and nutelex together either in the double boiler or in a bowl in the microwave – for the uninitiated put ingredients into a microwave proof bowl and heat in bursts of 30 seconds, mixing between. Then put to one side to cool off a bit.

Beat together egg and sugar, and then measure out your flours. By this point the chocolate should be still warm but not burning and you can beat the sugar and egg mix into the chocolate and butter mix. Finally add the flours gradually by shaking a layer of flour over the top of the wet ingredients then stirring it through. Continue until all your flour is in and the mixture is nice and smooth.

Set to one side.

Line a spring form pan. I do mine sort of like this, except I make the base too big and run it up the sides rather than doing the sides longer and running them onto the bottom: http://www.kayotic.nl/blog/tag/lining-a-springform-cake-pan

Pour mix into the lined pan. It’s quite thick so pour it all into the centre of the pan and then gently spread it to the edges with a spoon.

Bake in that now hot oven for 10 minutes. Remove from oven and leave to one side. It won’t be cooked, it’s not meant to be. Don’t turn the oven off as you need it at the same for the next bit.


  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 2x 250g packets of Liddells lactose free cream cheese.
  • 1 tsp vanilla essence
  • 4 large eggs
  • 500ml tub Liddells sour cream
    • OR 250ml Liddells sour cream and 250ml Liddells thickened cream (found with the longline milks)
  • 4 cubes dark chocolate
  • Instant coffee

Super easy process. This is easiest with a kitchen aid but can be done by hand. If doing by hand I recommend leaving your cream cheese on the bench for a few hours/overnight.

Mix together the cream cheese and sugar. I find putting the sugar in and then adding the cream cheese around 1/3rd a tub at a time is easiest. Start your mixer on the lowest setting and move up to the 3rd (beating) setting for each section. Mix it thoroughly, you want it nice and smooth.

Add the eggs 1 at a time, and then beat in the vanilla essence.

Grab your chocolate and throw it in a small bowl with a teaspoon or so instant coffee. Pour a little boiling water over it. By the time you’ve done the next two steps it should pretty much have melted the chocolate.

Fold in the sour cream on the lowest setting.

Pour mix on top the cooling brownie base, because your base isn’t cooked I recommend pouring it over a mixing spoon so it doesn’t disturb the base.

Give your chocolate and coffee mix a stir then use as much, or as little, of it as you like to decorate the top of your cheesecake.

Pop it all into the over for an hour. When you turn the oven off the cheesecake should move a bit like jello if shook slightly. Leave in the oven with the door partially open to cool slowly and set.

And you’re done. You can serve it with fruit as it will be quite sweet.

Misadventures in the Kitchen: Custard Buns

Today was the epitome of frustrating baking.

I was trying out a recipe for gluten free danish custard buns by Gluten Free on a Shoestring. I LOVE custard buns. I wanted nutella filled baked goods as well so, why the fuck not?

Ok ok, before I start ranting about misadventures in Charlie’s kitchen I just want to take 20 seconds out to thank Nicole of Gluten Free on a Shoestring for even providing this damned recipe. It may have frustrated the hell out of me, but the results were edible and I can (and will) try it again with some changes. 

Ok, firstly don’t even look at this recipe unless you have time to kill. Lots of it. This is a long, multistep, chill and work, chill and work, recipe. Hours of your fucking time. So yeah, that’s one thing. Sick girls who just want to sleep should not be trying this shit.

Second thing, Nicole uses a particular gluten free flour that she likes… which bears exactly zero resemblance to my homemade gf flour mix because gluten free flour is a bitch like that. Following the recipe as it was gave me a very soft, wet, dough. I persevered, having no idea what I was doing anyway so what the fuck lets just keep working with it and see what happens…

Round 1: Nutella!

Several frustrating, irritating, hours later I tossed the knife and rolling pin in the sink. I bundled the dough up into two balls – one for custard and the other for nutella – threw the former into the fridge wrapped in cling film and the later broke up into even-ish chunks and smoothed them into rounds with my fingers. A table spoon of nutella, wrap these soft hunks of dough up into balls and threw them on a pan. I didn’t wait for them to rise after they didn’t budge in the first half our and damned near burnt them cooking them…

That said. They were pretty damned good nutella pastries, if a bit flat and doughy.

Next round will involve changing up the dough big time. I’m debating between my bread base with almond flour and a small amount of polenta (I can’t find proper maize here) and my general GF mix with almond flour to get a more resiliant dough. Milk will be added slowly to manage the dough’s texture in much the same way as I’d make bread dough.

I’m gonna do the custard ones tomorrow. Hopefully a night in the fridge will help the dough out a bit.


Round 2: Actual real life custard buns

[UPDATE: The second half of the dough lived in the fridge for 2 days and I finally got around to using it today with the custard filling. Again no rise, but they look better. They’re wayyyyy too hot right now to eat so I’ll report back.

UPDATE 2: OMNOMNOM!!! These turned out much better. I had added more flour to the dough to dry it up a bit and it worked much better.]

Jackpot – Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Bread.

It is the holy grail of all food items when you go gluten free: Bread. We eat so much of it prior to finding out it makes us sick. We’re accustomed to the taste, the soft fluffiness of it, the chewiness of it… and then gluten free is ordered. The world is over for a while and then the hunt for the perfect, actually edible, gluten free bread is on.

I think I’ve found it!

Vegemite on mommy fresh bread. Breakfast served!

For those of you who have never had to eat gluten free allow me to enlighten you to what our options generally consist of:

  • So heavy I could beat someone to death with it
  • So dry it sucks the moisture out of your mouth as you eat
  • Flavour somewhere around cardboard
  • Kind of cake like – thick, tasteless cake
  • Crumbles as you try to butter it
  • And bonus point for the low FodMap people, often full of legume or bean based flours.

In short, not so great. Especially for someone like me. I bake. I’ve been baking my own breads for well over a decade and I enjoy it. And then they added dairy intolerance to the mix and it was all over for me. Until I got the recipe for that bread.


The Best Gluten Free and Dairy Free Baking Recipes by Grace Cheetham has become my bible and the basic white bread recipe is my fav. It is worth the cost of the book alone ($15 from Amazon US as a hardcover or $6.35 for Kindle), but the rest of it is pretty damned good as well.

The recipe is fairly simple, though calls for a number of flours, and I’ve taken to making up a massive batch of the base flour in advance to keep in the cupboard. I make this most weekends and keep what survives the weekend in the fridge at work for toast. Like all fresh breads it needs to be kept in the fridge after the first 2-3 days or it gets mouldy.

I’m not going to lie and says it’s a perfect soft and squishy bread. It’s not. What it is, however, is a bread that tastes like bread, that isn’t too heavy or prone to crumbling the minute it cools down. It tastes and has a mouth feel a bit like a heavy sourdough. It’s soft on the inside with a crisp-chewy crust. After the second day it benefits from being toasted or warmed somewhat.

And!!!… The Wild One, Buck and other dear friends who can have gluten have also given it the thumbs up as a fresh bread.


I got really sick this last weekend.

Weeks of early starts, late finishes, bad eating and bad sleep caught up with me…

At Confest. Was not happy to have had to leave early, but it was a very effective boot up the ass. Mega effective. The upset to me and the upset to the Wild one – who was meant to b fire twirling that nights – was far worse than the drive back on Sunday or how sick I felt.

It’s highlighted a lot of frustration that I have though. Do you know how hard it is to get food that I can eat when I’m out in the sticks? And restaurants that cater to my dietary requirements are either super expensive or… average. I feel bad even saying that, but it’s true. If the menu consists of stuff I can make at home and better then it’s average. I don’t want to pay for that.

But paying for not average poison… well my hands are weak as shit and in pain days later. My joints are aching and I feel like crap, still. Just better than on the weekend.

Anyway, off to cook. Bitch over.

Last Night I Was a Dance Mom

No, not really. Except kind of?

We got a late night call on Friday informing us that M’s costume hadn’t had the sleeves sewn on. So the girls bought those and their head pieces for another bit round in the morning and I got to sewing. I’m pretty sure that falls under dance mom stuff.

The show was incredible. It was the last one for the school. It was closing it’s doors after 34 years and it was pretty heartfelt and very emotional by the end. I was absolutely blown away by the girls. It was the first time I’d seen them really perform and they’re incredible young dancers with lots of promise. I’m not sure what they plan on doing next year as far as dance and sports goes, but I was so proud of them.

So this is me rambling on like an actual proud parent type. You may all point and laugh now. Don’t care.

Also I made Teriyaki Chicken skewers for the after party and they were insanely good. Recipe to come after I’ve tried it a few more times. Needs tweaking. 

And this morning I also made buckwheat pancakes. Those definitely need some tweaks. Mum’s recipe doesn’t quite translate to GF and they were a touch on the dry side. 

Sweet BBQ Slow Cooked Pork Ribs

Looking for something simple to make for dinner tonight that the girls would also enjoy I came upon maybe half a dozen recipes for BBQ crockpot pork ribs… All of which require BBQ sauce. I’m not good with BBQ sauce, no fodmap person really is, so I switched those up using this awesome low FODMap BBQ Sauce recipe as a jump off point and this recipe for crockpot pork ribs as inspiration.

It looks simple, because it is. It’s also really amazingly good. Sweet caramelised sauce on met falling from the bone.

This is a first time recipe so I’ll probably tweak it a lot.


  • 1.5kg pork pork ribs
  • 1 cup Raspberry jam
  • 1.5 cups hot water
  • 4 tbsp dark brown sugar (5 of normal brown sugar)
  • 3/4 cup red wine vinegar
  • 1/4 cup caramelised balsamic vinegar
  • 2 tbsp garlic infused oil
  • 2 tbsp maple syrup (and then some more or golden syrup)
  • 3 tbsp dijon mustard
  • 2.5 tbsp smoked paprika
  • 2 tsp cayenne pepper
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • 3-4 heaped teaspoons of cornflour dissolved in a small amount of cold water.
  1. Put the hot water and brown sugar in a small pot. Dissolve sugar in water then bring to the boil and let boil for a few minutes until reduced.
  2. In a bowl whisk together vinegars, garlic infused oil, raspberry jam, maple syrup and mustard. Add to pot and bring to the boil.
  3. Add dry ingredients to the pot. Let boil until reduced a little.
  4. Add cornflour mix, and take off the heat as soon as thickened.
  5. Put a layer of sauce on the bottom of the slow cooker. Add the first layer of ribs and roll them in it a little. Then add the rest of the ribs and pour the sauce over time. Use hands (if the sauce has been left long enough to cool) or tongs to spread the sauce through the ribs.
  6. Leave for an hour or two and then check the sauce. Mine tasted too much of vinegar for the girls to enjoy it so I added a good drizzle of golden syrup over top, but adding more jam into the sauce would also work.
  7. Cook on low for 6-10 hours.
  8. Throw into a pan and into a hot oven for 20-ish minutes.
  9. Die happy.

Seriously, this was insanely good. Sweet, spicy, sticky with meat falling from the bone. We actually couldn’t get the ribs out of the slow cooker without bones sliding out. Everyone downed it fast. It’s perfect for a warm night with minimal cooking actually involved. These are definitely going to be a regular in our kitchen. They’d make for great potluck food too.

The sauce should keep for around a week refrigerated in a sealed container if you want to make it in advance or 2-3days if you’ve strained it from the crockpot (make sure to strain it with a one sieve to remove any traces of the meat).



Slow Cooked Balsamic Not-Honey Pulled Pork Recipe

So over here is a fabulous pulled pork recipe for the slow cooker.

It is in now way fodmap safe with all that honey in it but is super easy to make fodmap friendly.

Drop the honey out for a tasty substitute. We use golden syrup, maple syrup (you don’t need a full half cup of maple syrup) or rice  malt syrup/brown rice syrup. The rice syrup doesn’t have much taste

One bowl of yummy pulled pork.

so cutting it half and half with one of the other two. It also costs a lot less than straight maple syrup.

Garlic oil and asafoetida can be added in to replicate the onion and garlic flavours. Although if you can use fresh and cut them up chunkily so you can strain them out of the sauce. We tend to cut  an onion in half and prop the pork up on it. The flavour gets through the dish but there’s none of that not-old-for-me onion and garlic in it at the end.

Chicken Burrito Thingies of Awesome

Yep, see me make up cool food titles.

This was the Saturday before Tycho’s awesome hainanese chicken. The Wild One had gone out and I had food to make…

I had frozen chicken thighs. Everything can go in a slow cooker so in with them, a diced red chilli, can of tomatoes, tomato paste, wostershire, salt, pepper, smoked paprika, oregano, garlic infused oil, onion infused oil, cumin… Mix together in a slow cooker, put on low and ignore for 6-12 hours. Add corn kernels to taste around 30-40 minutes prior to serving.

We also stirred brown rice through it. Because healthy, right?

Make guacamole. Avocado, lemon, a touch asafoetida (garlic and onion if you’re allowed them works better), half a fresh tomato,  and pepper. Adjust quantities to taste.

Take burrito wrap. Crush corn chips and sprinkle down the middle, sprinkle cheese over those and microwave for 10-30 seconds till hot. Dump chicken stuff on top of that. Spread on some of this deliciousness. Then top with guac and sour cream.

I looks vaguely like this if you're prone to over-stuffing your burrito wraps.
I looks vaguely like this if you’re prone to over-stuffing your burrito wraps.


I can not find the damned recipe I used for the cornbread but it turned out really well. So, yes, that is also great.

It looked like this and was most tasty.
It looked like this and was most tasty.

Corrupting perfectly good recipes

AKA. Tycho put up a recipe and then I added Western ingredients.

So my wonderful foodie friend put up the recipe for Hainanese Chicken that he learnt when he was in school. Easiest thing he knows how too cook. I concur, this is ridiculously easy.

Tonight’s bowl of delicious.

I’ve corrupted it with additions of a bit of carrot and celery straight into the pot with the chicken. Prior to adding the chicken to the water I also fried up some garlic cloves*, spring onion, ginger, lemongrass, and coriander in a mix of onion infused oil and sesame oil which also went in with the chicken.

*Use a mix of onion infused and garlic infused oils if overly sensitive to fodmap, however you won’t be eating the flesh so should be fine. 

A little bit of oil on the skin to brown up the chicken under the grill to reheat and off we go. We added a side of green, grilled veg, brown rice, and hoisin sauce. We also had hot sauce, chilli sauce and some tamarillo and chilli jam to experiment with. The hoisin won hands down.

The full meal. Much nomming was done.
The full meal. Much nomming was done.

So this one is made of win and met with The Wild One’s full approval. We have left overs for lunch as I did three marylands and it was healthy and filling.

Not to mention 5 odd litres of delicious stock (ramen here we come).

I have to admit I really prefer this way of cooking, starting it off in the morning with only a little to do in the evening. I’m often quite tired by 4-5pm and a bit flakey so complex meals aren’t fun to cook. Having the foundation prepped and down first thing, when I’m most functional, makes it a lot easier.

Tuuuuuuuuna… Patties…

It’s 1:30am and I just ate dinner. Admittedly I didn’t start making dinner till after midnight thanks to the gorgeous Wild One dropping by for a couple of hours, but still. I’m writing this at 1:45am in an attempt to remember the recipe for later.

I’m trying to eat healthier and in the great debate on what to make that wasn’t loaded with sugar, take out or poison (read: full of FODMap foods) I randomly settled on trying to make a favourite dish from my childhood: Tuna Patties.

The recipe is really simple, but I forgot something very important…

It takes a shit ton of TIME. So if you’re after dinner in under ten minutes this isn’t the recipe for you. However if you’re doing pre-planned meals and want something super fast sitting there for later in the week then this is totally the recipe for you.

They're really not exciting to look at at all. They taste good though.
They’re really not exciting to look at at all. They taste good though.

Bone’s Tuna Patty Recipe

Edit: I refer to this as my recipe because I was making it up from memory. Obviously it was originally my Mum’s and she probably had like twice the ingredients involved because she’s a mother and they do shit like that and make it look easy.

  • 4x medium to large potatoes
  • 1x 450g can of tuna in brine (drain the brine off please)
  • Keen’s curry powder (The yellow kind for those of you not in Australia)
  • 2 – 3 large eggs
  • Gluten Free corn flour
  • Gluten Free bread crumbs

So we start with the potatoes. Dice these babies up and chuck them in a pot of boiling water to cook till mashable. I, personally, use the washed ones so I don’t have to peel them. I like to pretend it’s because someone told me that vegies hold all the nutrients in the skin (which one day I’ll follow up on) but honestly it’s because I’m too lazy to peel the fuckers.

Once the potatoes are nice and soft throw them in a bowl with the tuna and about 1/3 to 1/2 a teaspoon of the curry powder – look I guesstimate a lot of this stuff as I go. Mash all that stuff up till it’s… not smooth but not chunky either? Then throw it in the fridge to cool.


This is where you can cheat a little however. You can’t add the egg until the mash mix is room temperature and it is easiest to handle when super cold BUT once it’s just cooler than room temperature you can get on with the program if you’re like me and eating at stupid am.

While that’s cooling grab one of your eggs and whisk it lightly in a bowl, put your cornflour in a bowl and your breadcrumbs in a seperate bowl.

Anyway, once the mix is at least room temperature, if not completely cold, grab another one of your eggs and whisk it a little. Add that to your mash mix and mash it all together some more, but don’t over do it.

Final steps: Grab even chunks of your mash mix and shape them into balls. Coat the balls lightly in corn flour, then coat them in the egg and then – you guessed it – coat them in bread crumbs.

At this point you can put the uncooked balls into the fridge. Don’t try to freeze them because potato and freezing isn’t a great match but the tuna is cooked and they’ll keep a few days in an airtight container.

The ones you plan on cooking go in a frying pan thats either lightly oiled or had some butter melted in it. Butter tastes nice. Fry them at a medium heat until they’ve browned a little and heated through. Do not cook on a high heat because they don’t taste great burnt. Trust me.

That’s it really.

To serve… depends on the time of day and the heat. They require Mayonnaise not matter how they’re served, if you ask me. Patties and a simple salad is nice. Patties and a fancy salad could be nicer. As a kid it was patties and 2 minute chicken noodles with salad if Mum thought she could get us to eat it on any given day. And tonight, at 1am, it was patties with mayonnaise eaten with my fingers…

They’re kind of soft so it’s a tad messy but it was 1-fucking-am and that’s that.

I’ll add pictures tomorrow. Enjoy the fooding.



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