Wait… It’s June???? WTF!!!

It’s been hectic as hell.

Since my last post I started work, then we went to Confest, teething begun, Rabbit got sick, I applied to uni, then I got sick, then Daddy got sick, then we all got better, then we all got sick again and now we are right here….

Sick. We’re always sick. Goddamned Kindy

It’s been hectic. Really hectic, and to top it off I’m dropping another dose of my meds. Which brings me down to a quarter of what I was on in January. Today is the first day.

I feel like death.

2019, here we come

I thought I’d written this but apparently I accidentally deleted it.

So I did a redux, but I didn’t add a few very important things to it.

As 2018 closes I want to say thank you. Thank you to Nicole Field for her never ending patience with my cancelling of catch ups. Thank you to Amanda for her encouragement, advice and parenting support. Thank you to Morgan for persisting with our friendship despite how damned hard I make it.

And huge, epic, gratitude to my partner, my in-laws, my mum and partner, and my gorgeous step-daughters for the support, the love, the meals, the patience, the babysitting, the help cleaning house, and the acceptance of where I’m at right now.

It’s been a a fucking hard year. So next year my goals are small-ish.

  • Get Rabbit to things that involve other young children every week.
    • So far we’ve got Gymbaroo setup and I’m aiming for one or two playgroup gatherings. Someone mentioned Ceres also run a music thing for littles so I’ll look that up.
  • Finish my multitude of started projects. Off the top of my head I have:
    • Blue Blanket
    • Big Blanket
    • Rabbit’s blanket
    • Sal’s present
    • Fetch related things
  • Try intuitive painting and learn to weave.
  • Continue working on my health.
    • This one is a struggle. I just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel at this point and it is making it so hard to look after myself. I’ve been self-sabotaging all over the shop, but I’ve done some good things. I have followed my psych’s intructions and I have ordered some pre-made meals so I actually eat real food.
    • I still need to work on exercise.
  • Witchcraft, because always witchcraft.

It’s been such a hard year for me that I am trying not to over commit myself with anything for 2019. My health and Rabbit are the priorities. Creative bits come after that, but as they tend to help my sanity I will try to work on something every day.

That’s it. The motto of the year is “Baby steps are better than no steps”.

Also this is going to be read, re-read and re-read until I get it through my thick skull.

One of those projects to work on.

How fast it changes…

So I caught glandular fever…

And one of the strains of influenza they didn’t vaccinate for this year…

And then I got a respitory infection on top of those…

So I’m not employed anymore and I’ve had to take the rest of semester off of uni.

That was a bit of a change from my last post.

Poor little Rabbit also has a chest infection and my darly Wolf appaears to have post viral syndrome – which basically means he had glandular fever but worked through it so now he’s just got that lingering fatigue.

Not fun on the home front. Working on some art for me now. Well art for some friends of mine.

It’s that time of year where I start looking at doing a review of 2018 and putting some plan in for 2019. Everything has been so crazy this year though. We shall see.

2017 Redux (Yeah we’re early)

It’s closing on the end of the year and… I’m sick, again.

Off work with lots of time to kill today and I can tell you that with 3 months to go 2017 has been one hell of a ride.

  • Sick – all year. I’ve been constantly sick.
  • Except for that one time when I was pregnant… Ah, that’s kind of ongoing. It’s nice to know I hadn’t suffered through weeks of nausea for nothing though ;p
  • Inflamed medial nerve – hey presto, we know what’s wrong with my hands and how to take care of them.
  • MARRIAGE! I’m married and holy fuck is that a mind trip. Honestly it’s changed nothing and everything all at the same time.

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  • Lipstick – didn’t really become a happening thing. Go back to the sick part. When getting out of bed is a literal nightmare then makeup is the last thing you give a shit about.
  • Reading – thanks to being sick I have actually done a fair bit of this. I have also found some new comics I really like recently.
  • PUPPY! Ok so he’s 8, but we welcomed the beautiful Kovu to the family just after Easter 2017 and the big goof has fitted right in. We have some minor behavioural issues to work on – someone likes to bark at all the passing trucks and cars for several hours of a morning – but overall it’s gone really well. He’s a very polite, but super cheeky boy.

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  • Depression has been neither a winning nor losing battle. My meds can’t keep up with current lack of sleep and hormonal changes, but I’ve come a massively long way since I started therapy and I having coping mechanisms in place that I never thought I would.
  • Home continues to go well. We have all the patio areas in and I started staining the plinths for under the last section of fencing to go in. Once we’ve done that we can look at grass and then gardens. It’s been a long slow process with My Wolf’s ongoing travel for work.
  • PREGNANCY! The latest in a long list of things shaking up my world. I’m now 22 weeks pregnant. I have a very normal and healthy baby growing inside me and a great Obstetrician and GP taking care of me. Not to mention all the love and patience from my husband… and god does he need patience, because perpetual exhaustion does not sit well with me, and I am currently the grumpiest human being ever.
  • 1 year at my job… today I think or soon.

 

So yeah, if 2017 could refrain from throwing any more huge things at me that would be fucking awesome. I’d like 2018 to maybe be a little bit calmer? Newborn aside.

Fuck This Shit

It’s 8am, my head hurts and I’m a level of exhausted reserved for those both pregnant and sick at the same time. 

Outside the sun is shining, the air looks relatively warm, and I should want to garden or something. Instead I would like to go back to bed, because I had to get up at 6am to let the dog out of the garage to go to the toilet.

There was a 16 year old standing in the kitchen listening to him bark and whine to be let out, but apparently it’s too fucking hard for a kid of that age to walk across the room, let the cat into my room, and then let the dog out. So I got up and dealt with it. 

So I’m sick. I’m exhausted. And I’ve been up for 2 hours.

Let’s call this ‘training for motherhood’ rather than ‘seeing how far I can be pushed before I lose my shit entirely’. 

Newly Wed

I waited for the professional photos so this was weeks ago, but on the 18th of March this year I got married to The Wild One. I have never been happier, nor felt so absolutely loved or cherished as I have in the years I’ve been with my beautiful Wild One.

For all the rough days, there are no regrets and I doubt there ever will be.

 

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2016 in Review.

It’s mid-ish November, I’ve just logged out of my facebook with no idea when I plan on logging back in and removed the app from my phone.

Trump is President-elect of the United States which is mildly terrifying, and our government is sending off-shore processed refugees to there… because why not send them to a country that doesn’t want them.

Earlier this year the Australian people voted mother-fucking Pauline Hansen into parliament, and failed to boot our shitty ass government out in favor of better things. We’re still a coalition.

David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Prince, Muhammad Ali, Gene Wilder and Leonard Cohen all died… Bowie, Rickman and Prince were pretty fucking devastating. After Bowie it all just melted into a pot of ‘God, fuck, no’.

In my personal life it’s been up and down.

On the down I was retrenched in April, been broke, been sick several times, have lost very little weight, have had a world of stress on my shoulders, haven’t made much art, finances are tight, and it’s generally been a rough year.

On the up… We moved into our house with help of amazing friends. The house is gorgeous and feels like ours in a way that rentals never do. I’m happy here and we’re building our life together which is amazing. The wedding planning continues with a few minor setbacks and we’re pretty fucking excited about life at large.

I have some answers to health problems that have lessened the complaints from my stomach and digestive track which has improved my overall health in many ways. I have much lower pain issues thanks to the same change in diet plans that helped my stomach as they also alleviated a lot of the inflammation in my joints. On top of that I have a diagnosis for my foot pain that has lead to improvements in feet, ankles, knees, hips and lower back which has been awesome. So much less pain means so much better sleep. Better sleep means more stable me, and that means…

I’m coming off my meds, successfully as far as we can tell. The first 2 weeks were a nightmare, but the anxiety has settled down to generally being caused by something or due to being over tired and unable to reign in stress over inconsequential shit. So I’m now at week four.

About a month back I also started a new job which I am loving. I’ve gone from 4 half days to four full days and am stepping up to take over the roster coordinator role whilst they’re on leave. I’m scheduling, and it’s challenging enough to be interesting without being super stressful like the old job was. I love it, and am hoping to be there for a few years while I study.

Speaking of, I started the pre-requisite classes for my degree this year, and it is going super well. I did really well on my portfolio and first essay – High distinctions on both. So now I’m waiting on results from my final essay and chat board grades (participation markers because we’re online students). So that’s good. Next semester is Statistics so… panic stations.

Mum is coming down for Christmas too, which is nice. We’ll also have the cousins, in-laws, bro-in-law and wifey with kids in tow. It’s gonna be big and fun. First family Christmas we’ve done since I moved in.

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So yeah, that’s my year in redux. No idea what the next month and a half will bring, but it better be better than Trump and no more people dying or else. It’s summer. Have a photo from a few weeks back when we climbed Hanging Rock. Look, it’s me and stuff.

Happy

I’m happy with life as it stands.

Sure, I’d like employment sometime real soon, and I’d like to be done with this food testing stuff (and the invariable days of feeling like someone has repeatedly kicked me in the guts), but over all things are good.

I have a loving, wonderful, supportive, and charming partner. 2 awesome young ladies I get to refer to as my kids whilst marvelling and how intelligent, driven and skilled they are. And incredible, amazing, talented and inspiring friends (and a super fluffy cat). I have no fear that I won’t be able to pay my bills, or rent… well mortgage as it is now. And when I need things I can afford to go buy them.

It’s weird and new for me. I wish, more than anything, that all my friends and family will find their way to their version of this. They deserve it.

SQUEE!

We have the cheque which means we can have the house on Friday!!!!

And we have curtains!

And… a fucking huge mess that is me packing shit. Soooooo tired, trying so hard to avoid the soft drink.

The Resolutions of 2016

I’ve never been huge on these resolution things, but I’m beginning to take a liking to having a plan and acting on it. Then checking back in on it later so I can see how I’m tracking… and that’s what I’m working on.

The Career Stuff. – I have a lot of career based goals for 2016 which I’m not going to go into detail on, but they are centre stage in many ways. It’s the first time I’ve had a job that I really feel fits and there are huge projects ahead so now we have to really push them to work. So a quick overview:

Stress/Time Management.
Solidify scheduling practice.
Delivery (without making doctors cry).

This year there are plans to execute:

Build on my relationships outside of my Wolf and Sprogs. – I got very insular last year, but I do need social activity to be sane. I especially want to gather together with some of the other professional women in my life on a regular/semi-regular basis for foodings and chat.

Monthly get togethers with the amazing women in my life.
Make it to at least one party/social event a month.
Catch up with individual people rather than ‘soon’ notes.
Cook meals for people.

Plan a fucking wedding! – I have no idea how to do this. I figure it’s just a super fancy party so that works for me and that’s what I’m running with. Big party, much fun to be had. The wedding stuff will be tagged and linked on a page once it’s started.

Lose weight and get fit. – Yeah yeah yeah, every year and every human being on the face of the planet, but really… I spent last year getting the damage and pain issues under control so I can do this. I have to have my foot looked at early in 2016, but that going well the plans are:

Regular floor based yoga practice.
Start running as soon as I have doctor’s clearance re foot. (I even have new runners).
Loose 10-15kg and 2 dress sizes (not actually unrealistic)
Break the Coke-a-Cola and Ice Break habits.

Make more art. – To this end I have started up a little group called the Little Sharp Teeth Collective made of close friends to help keep us all accountable to our goals. Complexity of pieces will effect these plans but for now:

1 print per month.
1 crochet piece every other month.

EDIT: I am also going to read everything on this list: http://io9.gizmodo.com/the-essential-cyberpunk-reading-list-1714180001

And that’s it really. We move into our new house in a few months and there will be a lot of gardening and time with the girls and stuff, but I think this sums up the plan of attack for now.

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