2019 in Review

So 2019 happened…

I didn’t blog much. There wasn’t much to say really.

I spent the first three quarters of the year wrangling my mental health. With the help of a holistic psychiatrist I improved my nutrient intake and dropped my medications. The final step down didn’t go well so I’m on a new medication that is working really well and continuing to work on the elements of diet and lifestyle that support my mental health.

My physical health has gradually improved. The germs that Rabbit brings home from daycare means that I’ve been sick a lot but it’s gradually improving. My Beloved on the other hand got pneumonia and landed their ass in hospital with an abscess is their lung. They’re ok now but they’ve lost about 10% of their lung capacity on one side.

I am continuing work for the little events company I’ve been with for the last year and am loving it more everyday. I will be incredibly sad when it comes to an end.

My beloved was made redundant in August. They are now working as a consultant and have an ongoing position lined up for next year. I am so incredibly proud of how they handled the redundancy so soon after being sick, and so very happy for them with the positions they’ve found. They are doing so well.

Rabbit grows at an insane rate. She’s bright, cheerful, inquisitive and fearless. Everything a shortly-to-be-two year old should be. Her big sisters are amazing, as always.

My disappointments for the year are few.

I didn’t make as much art as I’d like, but I did make art.
I didn’t read enough, but I did read.
I didn’t socialise enough, but my health is improving so it balances out.

Overall this year has been brutal but rewarding.

2019, here we come

I thought I’d written this but apparently I accidentally deleted it.

So I did a redux, but I didn’t add a few very important things to it.

As 2018 closes I want to say thank you. Thank you to Nicole Field for her never ending patience with my cancelling of catch ups. Thank you to Amanda for her encouragement, advice and parenting support. Thank you to Morgan for persisting with our friendship despite how damned hard I make it.

And huge, epic, gratitude to my partner, my in-laws, my mum and partner, and my gorgeous step-daughters for the support, the love, the meals, the patience, the babysitting, the help cleaning house, and the acceptance of where I’m at right now.

It’s been a a fucking hard year. So next year my goals are small-ish.

  • Get Rabbit to things that involve other young children every week.
    • So far we’ve got Gymbaroo setup and I’m aiming for one or two playgroup gatherings. Someone mentioned Ceres also run a music thing for littles so I’ll look that up.
  • Finish my multitude of started projects. Off the top of my head I have:
    • Blue Blanket
    • Big Blanket
    • Rabbit’s blanket
    • Sal’s present
    • Fetch related things
  • Try intuitive painting and learn to weave.
  • Continue working on my health.
    • This one is a struggle. I just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel at this point and it is making it so hard to look after myself. I’ve been self-sabotaging all over the shop, but I’ve done some good things. I have followed my psych’s intructions and I have ordered some pre-made meals so I actually eat real food.
    • I still need to work on exercise.
  • Witchcraft, because always witchcraft.

It’s been such a hard year for me that I am trying not to over commit myself with anything for 2019. My health and Rabbit are the priorities. Creative bits come after that, but as they tend to help my sanity I will try to work on something every day.

That’s it. The motto of the year is “Baby steps are better than no steps”.

Also this is going to be read, re-read and re-read until I get it through my thick skull.

One of those projects to work on.

How fast it changes…

So I caught glandular fever…

And one of the strains of influenza they didn’t vaccinate for this year…

And then I got a respitory infection on top of those…

So I’m not employed anymore and I’ve had to take the rest of semester off of uni.

That was a bit of a change from my last post.

Poor little Rabbit also has a chest infection and my darly Wolf appaears to have post viral syndrome – which basically means he had glandular fever but worked through it so now he’s just got that lingering fatigue.

Not fun on the home front. Working on some art for me now. Well art for some friends of mine.

It’s that time of year where I start looking at doing a review of 2018 and putting some plan in for 2019. Everything has been so crazy this year though. We shall see.

Intake Equals Output

One of the rules I forget far too frequently is that intake equals output in art.

You can’t live in a vacuum, and as I once again start taking in media, music and reading through art books na blogs my mind picks up the ongoing slack and starts coming to life.

Input equals output.

The more varied the input the better the output.

At least the better in your mind. Then you’ve just got to make it live on paper, but that’s another story.

Personal/Professional

maybe you’re like me.  maybe you were raised by fuck ups who were so deep into their own problems they put all of their negativity onto you.  maybe because you were “different” or “special” school seemed like the stanford prison experiment.  and maybe, for whatever reason, shitty thinking and incredibly low self esteem are what your brain defaults to.

so you probably don’t need any help seeing the crappy side of just about anything.  i know it is one of my greatest skills.

what i’m getting at here is YOU NEED TO SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD, KIND, CREATIVE PEOPLE who are not going to be threatened by your success or in some backhanded way try to protect you from your dreams.  regardless of what your dreams are.

there will always be plenty of people, some of them friends and family, who want to take a shit on your happiness and tell you that what you want to do can’t be done, or is a waste of time, or isn’t real, or is simply stupid.

DON’T LISTEN TO THEM.

and get them the fuck out of your life.

thanks for reading.

this message brought to you by the “holy shit i am allowed to be happy” company.

From: http://churchofindustry.tumblr.com/
Totally fucking relevant to everything right now.

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