Slow Cooked Balsamic Not-Honey Pulled Pork Recipe

So over here is a fabulous pulled pork recipe for the slow cooker.

It is in now way fodmap safe with all that honey in it but is super easy to make fodmap friendly.

Drop the honey out for a tasty substitute. We use golden syrup, maple syrup (you don’t need a full half cup of maple syrup) or rice  malt syrup/brown rice syrup. The rice syrup doesn’t have much taste

One bowl of yummy pulled pork.

so cutting it half and half with one of the other two. It also costs a lot less than straight maple syrup.

Garlic oil and asafoetida can be added in to replicate the onion and garlic flavours. Although if you can use fresh and cut them up chunkily so you can strain them out of the sauce. We tend to cut  an onion in half and prop the pork up on it. The flavour gets through the dish but there’s none of that not-old-for-me onion and garlic in it at the end.

Chicken Burrito Thingies of Awesome

Yep, see me make up cool food titles.

This was the Saturday before Tycho’s awesome hainanese chicken. The Wild One had gone out and I had food to make…

I had frozen chicken thighs. Everything can go in a slow cooker so in with them, a diced red chilli, can of tomatoes, tomato paste, wostershire, salt, pepper, smoked paprika, oregano, garlic infused oil, onion infused oil, cumin… Mix together in a slow cooker, put on low and ignore for 6-12 hours. Add corn kernels to taste around 30-40 minutes prior to serving.

We also stirred brown rice through it. Because healthy, right?

Make guacamole. Avocado, lemon, a touch asafoetida (garlic and onion if you’re allowed them works better), half a fresh tomato,  and pepper. Adjust quantities to taste.

Take burrito wrap. Crush corn chips and sprinkle down the middle, sprinkle cheese over those and microwave for 10-30 seconds till hot. Dump chicken stuff on top of that. Spread on some of this deliciousness. Then top with guac and sour cream.

I looks vaguely like this if you're prone to over-stuffing your burrito wraps.
I looks vaguely like this if you’re prone to over-stuffing your burrito wraps.


I can not find the damned recipe I used for the cornbread but it turned out really well. So, yes, that is also great.

It looked like this and was most tasty.
It looked like this and was most tasty.

Corrupting perfectly good recipes

AKA. Tycho put up a recipe and then I added Western ingredients.

So my wonderful foodie friend put up the recipe for Hainanese Chicken that he learnt when he was in school. Easiest thing he knows how too cook. I concur, this is ridiculously easy.

Tonight’s bowl of delicious.

I’ve corrupted it with additions of a bit of carrot and celery straight into the pot with the chicken. Prior to adding the chicken to the water I also fried up some garlic cloves*, spring onion, ginger, lemongrass, and coriander in a mix of onion infused oil and sesame oil which also went in with the chicken.

*Use a mix of onion infused and garlic infused oils if overly sensitive to fodmap, however you won’t be eating the flesh so should be fine. 

A little bit of oil on the skin to brown up the chicken under the grill to reheat and off we go. We added a side of green, grilled veg, brown rice, and hoisin sauce. We also had hot sauce, chilli sauce and some tamarillo and chilli jam to experiment with. The hoisin won hands down.

The full meal. Much nomming was done.
The full meal. Much nomming was done.

So this one is made of win and met with The Wild One’s full approval. We have left overs for lunch as I did three marylands and it was healthy and filling.

Not to mention 5 odd litres of delicious stock (ramen here we come).

I have to admit I really prefer this way of cooking, starting it off in the morning with only a little to do in the evening. I’m often quite tired by 4-5pm and a bit flakey so complex meals aren’t fun to cook. Having the foundation prepped and down first thing, when I’m most functional, makes it a lot easier.

Tuuuuuuuuna… Patties…

It’s 1:30am and I just ate dinner. Admittedly I didn’t start making dinner till after midnight thanks to the gorgeous Wild One dropping by for a couple of hours, but still. I’m writing this at 1:45am in an attempt to remember the recipe for later.

I’m trying to eat healthier and in the great debate on what to make that wasn’t loaded with sugar, take out or poison (read: full of FODMap foods) I randomly settled on trying to make a favourite dish from my childhood: Tuna Patties.

The recipe is really simple, but I forgot something very important…

It takes a shit ton of TIME. So if you’re after dinner in under ten minutes this isn’t the recipe for you. However if you’re doing pre-planned meals and want something super fast sitting there for later in the week then this is totally the recipe for you.

They're really not exciting to look at at all. They taste good though.
They’re really not exciting to look at at all. They taste good though.

Bone’s Tuna Patty Recipe

Edit: I refer to this as my recipe because I was making it up from memory. Obviously it was originally my Mum’s and she probably had like twice the ingredients involved because she’s a mother and they do shit like that and make it look easy.

  • 4x medium to large potatoes
  • 1x 450g can of tuna in brine (drain the brine off please)
  • Keen’s curry powder (The yellow kind for those of you not in Australia)
  • 2 – 3 large eggs
  • Gluten Free corn flour
  • Gluten Free bread crumbs

So we start with the potatoes. Dice these babies up and chuck them in a pot of boiling water to cook till mashable. I, personally, use the washed ones so I don’t have to peel them. I like to pretend it’s because someone told me that vegies hold all the nutrients in the skin (which one day I’ll follow up on) but honestly it’s because I’m too lazy to peel the fuckers.

Once the potatoes are nice and soft throw them in a bowl with the tuna and about 1/3 to 1/2 a teaspoon of the curry powder – look I guesstimate a lot of this stuff as I go. Mash all that stuff up till it’s… not smooth but not chunky either? Then throw it in the fridge to cool.


This is where you can cheat a little however. You can’t add the egg until the mash mix is room temperature and it is easiest to handle when super cold BUT once it’s just cooler than room temperature you can get on with the program if you’re like me and eating at stupid am.

While that’s cooling grab one of your eggs and whisk it lightly in a bowl, put your cornflour in a bowl and your breadcrumbs in a seperate bowl.

Anyway, once the mix is at least room temperature, if not completely cold, grab another one of your eggs and whisk it a little. Add that to your mash mix and mash it all together some more, but don’t over do it.

Final steps: Grab even chunks of your mash mix and shape them into balls. Coat the balls lightly in corn flour, then coat them in the egg and then – you guessed it – coat them in bread crumbs.

At this point you can put the uncooked balls into the fridge. Don’t try to freeze them because potato and freezing isn’t a great match but the tuna is cooked and they’ll keep a few days in an airtight container.

The ones you plan on cooking go in a frying pan thats either lightly oiled or had some butter melted in it. Butter tastes nice. Fry them at a medium heat until they’ve browned a little and heated through. Do not cook on a high heat because they don’t taste great burnt. Trust me.

That’s it really.

To serve… depends on the time of day and the heat. They require Mayonnaise not matter how they’re served, if you ask me. Patties and a simple salad is nice. Patties and a fancy salad could be nicer. As a kid it was patties and 2 minute chicken noodles with salad if Mum thought she could get us to eat it on any given day. And tonight, at 1am, it was patties with mayonnaise eaten with my fingers…

They’re kind of soft so it’s a tad messy but it was 1-fucking-am and that’s that.

I’ll add pictures tomorrow. Enjoy the fooding.



Potato and Leek Soup

Potato and Leek Soup is one of my comfort foods. It’s what Mum made when we were sick or the weather was cold… or she felt like it because it was delicious. It was a thick, creamy, white soup rich with flavour and we added a generous helping of cayenne pepper and extra cream to it and ate it with crusty french breadstick.

Then, of course, I was diagnosed with fructose malabsorption and on the list of bad foods was the entire fucking onion family. Leeks are part of the onion family and there was much wibbling and very literal tears when I realised that my favorite soup was off the menu.

Fast forward almost a full two years to last Monday night. Picture your grumpy, disheveled red-haired host sitting behind her computer screen searching recipes as a means of not doing university work and lo a recipe in the FODMAPcategory and… What is this? There are leeks in this food, how is this so?

Turns out that sometime this year the guys over at the Monash research department updated their app with the information that the green part at the top of the leek was as safe for us on the Low FODMAP diet as the green parts of spring onion. You want to see me scream and bounce? Because I totally fucking screamed and bounced. I COULD HAVE SOUP!!!

Follow up on Tuesday night where, due to work commitments, I ended up starting making the soup at 1am and finished at around 3am and promptly died of happy…

No, not really, but it was pretty fucking awesome soup. So here’s the recipe. It might have been in a cookbook somewhere in the dim past but this is how my Mum has made it from memory for as long as I can remember.

It comes out a bit greener when you use the green part of the leek. Funny that.

Potato and Leek Soup – FODMAP friendly


  • 3 large potatoes
  • 3 leeks – green part only
  • 1 bacon rasher – I use 2 because bacon
  • Campbell’s Real Stock chicken stock – or other FODMAP friendly stock
  • Cracked pepper to taste
  • 1 cup milk – dairy free substitutes works fine
  • 1/2 cup cream – dairy free still awesome
  • Cayenne pepper and extra cream to serve
  • 1 big fucking soup pot


  1. Dice up leek, potato and bacon and lightly fry it.
  2. Transfer to soup pot and cover with chicken stock. Simmer till potatoes are tender.
  3. Now, to get this really thick, you’ll need to drain off a little of the liquid. If you don’t care proceed to step 4.
  4. Blitz the soup in the blender to make it nice and smooth. Remember to let it cool down if your blender is glass.
  5. Back in the pot with it, add milk and cream and heat it back up. Add pepper here if you want it.
  6. Serve with cream and cayenne pepper on the side to be added to by the devourer of the yum to their own tastes. Bread that you can eat kind of does good things to. The bread fingers in my picture are home made spelt bread.

What else do you need to know?

This recipe makes a LOT of soup. Fed a family of 5 with plenty of left overs.

Mum's Choc Chip Cookies

One of the things I have resigned myself to in this life is that I will never be the baker my Mum is. I can do just about everything else as good if not better, but Mummy Darling has the magic touch when it comes to baking and she passed that on to my youngest brother rather than me (totally not jealous, not me).

Wirst photo ever of the yummiest cookies ever… and milk.

Cookies are my ultimate comfort food. These cookies have been a staple over the duration of my life. A couple of cookies and a glass of milk and I’m five years old and colouring at the table. At 11 I’m pushing aside thoughts of the friends I left when we moved away with the familiarity of baking with Mum and my baby brothers. At 16 nursing a cup of tea, a book and cookies and losing myself for a few hours while living in a hotel apartment because we don’t have a house yet. And now I’m 28 and trying no to burn my mouth on fresh baked cookies straight from the oven… dunked in cold milk of course 🙂

It’s not a hard recipe and I’m sure it was once in a cookbook somewhere, but she’s been making it from memory longer than I’ve been alive so who knows so here’s Mum’s chic chip cookie recipe. I’m not allowed regular flour anymore so check the notes if you’re wheat intolerant.

Mum’s Choc Chip Cookies

1/4 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup regular white sugar

1/2 cup butter

1tsp vanilla essence

1 cup choc chips*

2 cups self raising flour or plain flour sifted with 4tsp baking powder**

1/4 cup milk


Remember when I said this was simple? I wasn’t joking.

Preheat your oven to 180 celsius and prepare a cooking sheet or pan. I’m lazy so it’s usually baking paper lining a pan.

Mix together sugars and butter till it’s smooth and creamy. Drop in your vanilla and mix it through that.

Throw all your flour and chic chips into the bowl and mix thoroughly. I’d advise on settings for your mixer… except I use a wooden spoon. I break electronic things a little too readily.

Add milk and stir through. It’s going to seem too dry and crumbly, but it’s meant to be.

Scoop out spoonfuls of the mix into your palm and roll into flattish balls of even size. I like them to be about the same size as a 50c piece. If the mix is crumbling too much you may need to add a tiny bit more milk, no more than a table spoons worth (after that you get into some cross between a biscuit and a scone).

Put your tray in the oven for 10 -15 minutes.

Try not to burn your mouth eating the bastard things hot.


* Traditionally it’s milk chocolate drops, but the youngest child adds anything he feels like and then some.

** If, like me, you’re on the Low FODMAP diet try Spelt Flour. It’s not always listed as a safe food when you’re buying spelt bread because of additives the bakeries use, but for home cooking it’s normally fine. As always with the FODMAP diet mileage may vary. Also note that spelt flour is a high gluten flour, not suitable for celiaces or gluten intolerant people.

To get it if you’re not in Melbourne try health food stores, organic food stores and specialist bakeries. If you’re in Melbourne save yourself some cash and head to the Vic markets. One of the bakeries in there has it for $4 per 500g bag. This is about a third of the price I’ve been able to find it anywhere else.

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