Blah

Sometimes I feel like an utter failure. 

Sometimes I feel I am my own worst enemy.

Sometimes I hate myself…

I’d go so far to say that sometimes I loathe myself. 

Today is one of those sometimes.  

If I kick my brain repeatedly it’ll, briefly, admit that what I hate is my tendency to self sabotage, inability to carry through, and ongoing stress eating. 

I’ve gained back everything I lost last year. Probably a bit more really. I hate what I see in the mirror yet somehow manage to live in apathy instead of fixing it. It can reduce me to tears, but actually doing something about it is wayyyyyy harder than being depressed about it…

Wait, I think that’s my depression talking. Well, it’s probably all my depression talking at the end of the day, but today is just the day I rant about it online. 
Anyway, point is, I’m tired, cranky, shitty, and feeling crap about myself and towards myself.